Cheating and Chronic Infidelity

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Not everyone who cheats falls into the category of a sex or porn addict. In fact, the majority of people who betray a loving partner are not addicts. There are often similarities between the problems that fuel simple infidelity and sexual addiction. With help, you can end your infidelity and heal your broken relationship if you have strayed.

What is infidelity?

Infidelity (cheating) is the breaking of trust that occurs when you keep intimate, meaningful secrets from your primary romantic partner.

It’s interesting to note that this definition of cheating makes no mention of affairs, porn, hookup apps, strip clubs, or any other particular sexual or romantic conduct. Instead, it emphasizes the loss of trust in a relationship, which is what matters most to a partner who has been deceived.

The things that hurt betrayed partners the most are not any particular romantic or sexual act; rather, it’s the lying, secrets, manipulation, and losing faith in their partner’s words and actions.

Can those who cheat change?

A common misconception is that someone who cheats once would definitely cheat again, and someone who cheats frequently won’t decide to quit. Thankfully, this is untrue. Even long-term cheaters can quit and win back their partners’ trust with the right help and support.

Intimate relationships are, in my opinion, the most significant part of life. As a result, maintaining families and couples together is always the aim; I have witnessed this with innumerable couples.

Broken trust can be repaired. The painful wounds of betrayal can be healed. 

Understanding betrayal trauma

Betrayal Is Painful

You cannot help but feel that discovering your partner’s infidelity is a severe kind of psychological and emotional damage. It’s as if a vehicle struck you, just emotionally as opposed to physically. The treachery has left you broken, damaged, and abused. It makes sense that you would feel saddened if you truly love and believe in your partner, and if you are involved in your relationship.

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an inevitable and expected response to being cheated on

If you have been cheated on and now you feel like you are going crazy, you are not alone. In fact, the rage, tears, fear, pleading, vindictiveness and emotional instability you are feeling are an inevitable and expected response to being cheated on. 

According to research, people who have been betrayed by their partners often experience worry, anxiety, and sadness after finding out that their significant other has strayed. These could be signs of PTSD, or post-traumatic stress disorder. After a conflict, soldiers with battle scars may exhibit symptoms of PTSD. Similar to this, you may have anxiety, hypervigilance, sadness, mood swings, flashbacks, nightmares, and an inability to concentrate on and handle day-to-day duties.

You are not to blame. You didn’t cause this.

Partners that cheat might direct blame and responsibility for the emotional roller coaster you’re experiencing towards you. They might say things like:

  • “Had you not been so aggressive, I would never have cheated.”
  • “I’m not sure what to expect from you. It really complicates my life”
  • “I want to move on with our lives, why can’t you just forgive me?”

These answers fail to acknowledge the trauma of betrayal. Your ability to trust has been damaged by your partner’s infidelity. You are having trouble believing everything your partner says or does, as well as anything they have said or done in the past. Furthermore, you can go through the full betrayal process again each time you learn something new.

Once you find out about the betrayal, you are put on an awful emotional rollercoaster. It’s also typical. Make an effort not to criticize your thoughts and feelings about yourself.

This wasn’t caused by you. Your thoughts and emotions are a normal reaction to the anguish of being betrayed. Don’t hold yourself responsible for the emotional rollercoaster you’re experiencing.

Call 917-476-4638 or Contact Us to request an appointment for help with chronic cheating and infidelity